Q: I am
still really struggling accepting my body. I don’t like what I see in the
mirror, and I can’t let go of the idea that if I lost a few pounds I’d feel
better about myself and happier. I need to eat less, exercise more, and when I
reach my goal weight I know I’ll feel better about myself. I know you’re going
to say that I’m wrong. Why?
still really struggling accepting my body. I don’t like what I see in the
mirror, and I can’t let go of the idea that if I lost a few pounds I’d feel
better about myself and happier. I need to eat less, exercise more, and when I
reach my goal weight I know I’ll feel better about myself. I know you’re going
to say that I’m wrong. Why?
A: First and foremost, the problem is NOT your body, but how you perceive it and what your expectations are.
Your
perceptions are what you believe to be true.
Right or wrong, perceptions are stored as truth in your brain. So if you look
in the mirror and say, “my thighs are huge,” that’s what you’re going to
believe to be true.
perceptions are what you believe to be true.
Right or wrong, perceptions are stored as truth in your brain. So if you look
in the mirror and say, “my thighs are huge,” that’s what you’re going to
believe to be true.
Is it possible for you to consider that
your perceptions may be off-base?
your perceptions may be off-base?
Your
expectations are what you think should be true. When there is inconsistency between
your perception and your expectation, this creates conflict. For example, if
you think “my thighs are huge and they should not be this way!” this is a real
conundrum!
expectations are what you think should be true. When there is inconsistency between
your perception and your expectation, this creates conflict. For example, if
you think “my thighs are huge and they should not be this way!” this is a real
conundrum!
Your body is mainly the result of your
unique genetic predisposition. Five, ten, twenty years from now, there will be
a new “normal” that you see in the mirror. Are you going to continue to hate
and rant about what you see? Can you imagine an entire lifetime of this?
unique genetic predisposition. Five, ten, twenty years from now, there will be
a new “normal” that you see in the mirror. Are you going to continue to hate
and rant about what you see? Can you imagine an entire lifetime of this?
What would happen if you looked in the
mirror and said to yourself, “this is my body today, and it is what it is.” No
judgment, no expectation. That is what I mean by acceptance. I’m not telling
you that you need to love or even like your body (although that would be
fantastic!). Let’s start with being neutral.
mirror and said to yourself, “this is my body today, and it is what it is.” No
judgment, no expectation. That is what I mean by acceptance. I’m not telling
you that you need to love or even like your body (although that would be
fantastic!). Let’s start with being neutral.
Listen for the judgmental self-talk and
the language you use with yourself that is enslaving you to your eating
disorder. Remind yourself that this moment is all you have to make the most of.
How do you need to be with and treat your body right now? Be kind and compassionate. Work on
losing that diet mentality and exercise your body because it’s important for
stress management, health, and overall well-being. Happiness comes when you
sincerely connect with others and when you are engaged in meaningful activity.
Weight has nothing to do with it. It never has, and it never will.
the language you use with yourself that is enslaving you to your eating
disorder. Remind yourself that this moment is all you have to make the most of.
How do you need to be with and treat your body right now? Be kind and compassionate. Work on
losing that diet mentality and exercise your body because it’s important for
stress management, health, and overall well-being. Happiness comes when you
sincerely connect with others and when you are engaged in meaningful activity.
Weight has nothing to do with it. It never has, and it never will.
~Amy